Category
Combat
93 posts.
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Back in the Sadae, I Mean, Saddle
So, I'm back, after about eight months away. As a small business owner, I get to decide when I work. As a small business owner with a crushing inferiority complex and a massive fear of bankruptcy, I had been deciding to… -
I Wanna Be Where the Victims Are
Soooo, Minmatar FW is still a thing. The Goons may have pushed the balance of power to the breaking point, but the Minmatar were the dominant force before the exploit, and remain dominant after. I cashed out last night… -
Trollin' The War
What's more fun that making stupid easy ISK on faction warfare? Finding other members of your own militia running those sites, and then entering them to snatch some of the LP. Or, shoot them. I had some fun with this… -
Reader Submission: Duselduzi falls into my trap and drops faction loot!
Our first reader submitted story is from player AKeeFa , who writes clearly and concisely, with tears, loot and betrayal. Well done! ---- I don't get much time to grief these days so I quickly scan down a noobish bear… -
The Economics of Ice Mining
Some folks have asked why I'm joining in the Goonswarm gank-fest on ice miners in Gallente space. After all, I'm not profiting personally from Goons takeover of the market, or of their ship-reinbursment program. I'll… -
Not Our Finest Hour
It had already been a long day for me working a 12-hour shift with my volunteer ambulance service and then having dinner with my grandparents. When I got home Paul, who is going into his weekend, was up for doing… -
He's Stuck In The Bargaining Phase
Another quiet day in my w-space system. An inventory of cosmic signatures turns up a K162 connection to a Class 2 with a single Minmatar Large Control Tower. That w-space system turns out to have a connection to high… -
CapVerfex and Zylien Luzifer Give CNRs, Deadspace Loot, and 500M to Paul Clavet
So, it had been too long. RL concerns have been keeping me from spending much time plying my ninja trade. Today, however, I was home with a sinus infection, high on medication, and bored, so I figured I'd see if my… -
Roofman's Tengu: Not as Winsauce as Khalia's Worm
Short entry, because I'm lazy. Doing the usual work in Ruvas, and come across Roofman in his Tengu. I don't even steal and he locks me up; so I give it a few and then grab from him. He gives it a few and opens fire on… -
Taildust Gives Paul Clavet a Loki
I was talking with Khalia out of game and announced that it was time for me to get my ninja on. He had been doing his ninja thing in Ammold where I was based at the time, but was frustrated that he wasn't getting any… -
Sometimes the Bear Eats You
"Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you." - Elwin Charles Roe, major league pitcher Paul and I have never made any illusion that we are invincible, amazing players. His best line on this was, "We… -
Limbizquit Loses Faction-Fit Vargur, 500M Ransom to Paul Clavet
(HD up to 1080p available!) Killmail . I'm pretty proud of this gank and the associated video. If you're a ninja who hasn't trained your scanning skills up, take a look and you'll see why they're crucial. -
From the Mailbag: Ronin Noble's First Gank
Hey Paul, I wanted to thank you, over the past couple of months i have been a avid reader of your blog. I always loved the way you would gank mission runners and its something iv always wanted to do, but never really… -
Paul Clavet’s First Three Hulk Ganks
I don't know why I never got around to doing this before. It's a blast and a great way to burn excess security status! I'm sure you've noticed the Suddenly Ninjas logo in the video. The rumors are true! I'll make a post… -
Gunbuster Rono donates his Apocalypse Navy Issue to Jerks
Three hours of ninja salvaging had gone by without a single mission runner shooting at me. I was getting desperate. When I scanned down an Apocalypse Navy Issue, I grabbed a gank Hurricane I had sitting around and… -
Boomer2674 and Po Mofo Have a Bad Day
I'm poking around Taru last night looking for some careless carebears, and up pops a Nightmare, Maelstrom and Raven all in one mission. Boomer2674 is by himself in the first room, slowboating to the next gate. I swipe… -
Christmas Gift: Death of a Rattlesnake
Merry Christmas to all ninjas, looters, wreck thieves, suicide gankers, griefers and jerks. Here's our gift to you: A video of a Rattlesnake that went boom after shooting at yours truly. -
psyphirus likes to throw away ISK - fine by me
I finally got back into the Ninja lifestyle. After taking out a CNR and a Tengu on my first day, I moved location for variety. I just purchased that truly evil of faction battleships, the Bhaalgorn, and was eager to… -
Graaatch: Working an Hour for Paul Clavet
So I had a couple of hours, and felt like ganking a carebear. I logged onto Eve and launched probes, finding a Rokh and two Golems within a minute. Knowing that a marauder would be clearing as it went, I held the Rokh… -
Snipehamster downs a Raven, reaps tears
I've been slowly getting back into Eve. So today I'm logged on and Snipehamster in The Ninja Alliance is having some trouble finding a Raven wreck on d-scan in Balginia. I offer to warp down with my pimp'd covops and… -
Wolfjack13 has a terrible name, and even poorer decision-making skills
Kiritsubo told me to update my blog , so I did. Don't ever say that I never did anything for my readers. -
Mixed Griefer Fleet Suicide Ganks 30B+ BearBoat
Congrats to our newest Jerk, Schmetterflug, for being part of a seven-ship fleet that suicide-ganked an officer-fit Paladin on a gate in hisec. The ship is conservatively valued at 30 billion ISK, but there's no way to… -
Plan B: Always the best.
So I had logged in and was playing carebear with an alt of mine, while Khalia and Paul were bashing some POS left completely undefended, when Zarago piped up about a war target in a Machariel doing missions up near… -
When Noob Ships Attack!
Paul and I just finished taking down a Dread Guristas Control Tower but that story is going to wait for the next post. My two characters Khalia and Johanes had self-destructed their POS-bashing battleships for the… -
JerkTengu Down, Part II
JerkTengu died tonight. I got shot at by what appeared to be a multi-boxing fleet of four characters. I came back in my Tengu. They had points, webs, and Neuts. The Tengu melted instantly. As with my first Tengu loss,… -
Pirate Invasions
Today when I logged on in Ruvas to look for carebear targets, I saw some strange purple chat in local. Further investigation revealed that this was a pirate invasion live event. I grabbed an interceptor from my Orca and… -
Nitnargimmi's Faction Golem Meets JerkTengu
Ruvas doesn't have many bears, but the ones that do live there are fat and stupid. Nitnargimmi shoots, I score . I had a chance to make this a Golem+CNR kill, but I got spooked by some logistical issues and underplayed… -
War! Ludi Sacerdotales, Part 2
Part 2 of the war journal isn't going to be nearly as exciting reading as part 1. From our last report, Ludi Sacerdotales had just dropped out of their self-owned alliance to get a 24-hour break from our wardec. Our new… -
War! Ludi Sacerdotales, Part1
Captain Charismatic has a skill for finding corporations which are worth Jerks attention. Most recently he found us Ludi Sacerdotales , who were allowing anyone with a pulse to join. Captain joined under one of his alts… -
Paul Clavet's Comeback: Qhuashimides' Golem and 600M Ransom
It's been far too long. For a while there I had quit salvaging and was thinking about a long break from Eve altogether. Talking to Khalia the other day, I decided to just grit my teeth and salvage until I got a kill, to… -
This Is Why You Don't Autopilot While At War
Killmail: http://eve-arena.com/encounters/4221280/ The Jerks wardec against OWN Alliance is still open, and pilot Xerxes Thirteen apparently forgot, or stopped taking us seriously. I found him auto-piloting his Charon… -
Living The Dream: CNR and Rattlesnake kills
The Eve universe does not stand still, and neither do ninjas (or jerks). With the rise of interest in ninja salvaging - helped by this blog to some part - mission runners have become more aware of our presence and… -
Burime Learns the Price of Revenge
I only had a couple of hours before I had to return to work. The great thing about the Jerk lifestyle, however, is that you can get good gameplay in even if you only have a short period of time. I launched my probes,… -
Saelii Loses Rokh, 100M ISK
In Ichoriya, I find a Rokh running faction missions. After taking a dozen 1M ISK tags, Saelii locks and fires. I warp off to the Orca, grab JerkTengu, and return. I open a convo with Saelii just as my warp disruptor… -
Suck it, Crigga
I moved up to Umokka in Lonetrek to do some salvage-and-bait. Dodixie is the traditional ninja home, but it's fun to terrorize and annoy the runners from other parts of the game - who are hopefully not as jaded as… -
Fightin' Dirty
If Honorless Internet Jerks has a corporate motto, it is "Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose." The battle I had with Telendra Korrh of Grayson Space Enterprises was a perfect example of… -
Wrong place, Wrong time, for Merry Zane
I was relocating a PvP ship when the Sansha's Invasion live event got underway. My Harbinger was in transit of the Renyn system at the time, and Renyn VI was under attack. Never having been in a live event before I… -
Absolut Fail
Paul has a good luck saying he likes to use when trying to get mission runners to shoot at him: "Get in the boat, fish." It's a lot more amusing when he says it - just trust me. Everyone has the story of "the one that… -
Moonrabbits lose CNRs. Angry Walter is Sad About His Golem.
Everyone in Jerks has the one thing that they're best at. For Jerk Zarago, it's hunting down wartargets, calling down the wrath of JerkFleet upon them, seeing them driven before him, and hearing the lamentations of… -
Can Flippy Goodness?
So... I'm not dead. Yep, just getting that out of ze way. Over the last few weeks I've been forced into a bit of a sabbatical from EVE due to school and such, but I'm back. :) So I decided to mix it up a bit, and do… -
AmonWarr Doesn't Learn from usmcjeramy, Loses Navy Mega
I'm scanning along in a new time slot for me, and it's like Dodixie is reborn and repopulated with idiots. I scan down a mission with two Navy Megas, piloted by usmcjeramy and AmonWarr. usmcjeramy locks and fires when I… -
U [M-A-D]? Faction cruiser kill and excellent tears
It was late and Paul had just signed off to get some shut-eye. I was considering doing the same, but figured I'd spin the scanning wheel and give it one more chance to provide me with someone foolish enough to open… -
Three for the Price of One: Brotherhood of Two Nations
It's been too long since a MLYT post. The following isn't amazingly exciting, but amusing enough that I hope it will keep you satisfied until we get back to full-speed. =) As usual the location is Dodixie, and I warp… -
Three Kills, One Night: Hilaway, Tamiden, Firemaster
From the evening of 3/30/2010. Note the superb video quality in fullscreen. Also note that YouTube imposes a 10-minute limit on videos, so screw them. Thanks to Khalia for help on the first two kills and for letting me… -
Push the big red button, WT's, and Hulks.
Hello again, :) Over the last few days some funny events have happened, first off, Khalia got his wish of a faction kill, which has been long in the making. Yesterday, I had something rather interesting happen. I was… -
Patience is Rewarded: Megathron Navy kill
I warp into a mission with a Megathron Navy Issue and start looting. The Mega Navy pilot, 'Maxx Wolf' aligns to a station and targets me. Interestingly he has no drones out, and drones are usually what is going to cause… -
Tactical Errors and Delicious Tears: phalanx warriorll
It's just a typical day of salvaging mission runners in Dodixie. The Drake that I'm pulling loot from targets me but holds fire. Eventually all the NPCs are gone and he warps out of the mission. I figure either closing… -
Night of the Fail-Fleets, Part II: Mando'a Navy
After helping Khalia and Charismatic down a fleet earlier in the evening , I was out Ninjaing and came across a Typhoon piloted by Grymmstorm, running what looked like a level 2 mission! Of course, as soon as I looted… -
Night of the Fail-Fleets, Part I: Twilight Labs
When it rains, it pours. On this Sunday night in Dodixie we had the pleasure of ganking two entire missionrunner fleets. This is about the first - the pilots of Twilight Labs. As it usually happens this began with some… -
If first you explode, go back and explode again
It's 1:30am as I write this; apologizes in advance for any strangeness. After several months in my own corporation - Sleeper Asset Relocation Services - I have left to join Paul in Honorless Internet Jerks. The choice… -
I'd rather be lucky than good
I was up early on a Saturday, hunting for mission runners to annoy and pew. A Hyperion pilot by the name of Sergey201 of Air Space [AIRSE] decides that enough is enough with my looting and opens fire. Off I go to get… -
MR Greyy just doesn't know when to quit
Dodixie is the home for ninja salvaging, but the locals have mostly learned to ignore us - which is good if you want free stuff, but bad if you want blood and tears. I decided to set up shop in a less picked-over… -
JerkRaven Downs Four: Always Bet on Stupid
I was salvaging a mission that had just been completed which at varying times had been home to a Kronos, Dominix, Raven, Cormorant, and Damnation. Conventional wisdom is to not attempt bait-and-gank on multiple… -
mmmazay: Three Steps to Dead CareBoats
Step 1: Find Gallente Battleship Wreck in a mission. Loot it. Step 2: Convo owner. Offer to give crap back at a planet. Step 3: When owner comes in brand new Dominix to take crap, pew him . -
JerkTengu Goes Down: An Important Lesson for Ninjas
Tonight I warped back to a mission bookmark that I had salvaged/looted at a while earlier. It had been closed and cleared, but just as I arrived in my Dramiel, the MR, Soban Vuex, landed in a Vexor and locked me. He… -
Tyr Anasaze should have stayed in Andromeda
[See Tyr Anasazi for the title reference.] Captain Charismatic probes out a Dominix, loots, and gets shot at. He calls in backup and Zarago and I respond. Using the full advantage of our fleet, I go to the mission site… -
IT'S A TRAP! .... FAIL
Short one before I log for the night. Find a one Niccolo Duku running a Krull's Pleasure Hub in his Dominix. Niccolo doesn't like me very much, but refrains from firing until he's warped out and back in a few times and… -
GR3VER's Vagabond meets NinjaFleet
A great Sunday afternoon for some mayhem and tears in Dodixie. I was all set for some solo salvage and bait-gank, but an impromptu fleet formed out of members of The Ninja Alliance channel. After a successful but boring… -
PQLSEHUNDEN Loses Dominix, 50M to JerkTengu
Yawn. I enter the mission and steal a T1 1MN afterburner. The Dominix shoots. I retrieve JerkTengu from the Orca and, after selecting the correct damage type, start knocking big chunks of carebear armor off. Paul Clavet… -
STWizard: Fool Me Thrice...
So I'm poking along in my Vigil, cleaning up the last of my scan hits. I warp to a Dominix hit that is half an hour old, nearly guaranteeing that the goods will be long gone when I arrive. Only in this case, what I find… -
Tsunayoshi Sawada: Tasty Tears, No Domi
I can't blog these fast enough. The day, the day the Domi died. tl;dr: Two Domi's in World's Collide. They shoot. I shoot back. One warps off, they other pops after I get no ransom. Note: Thanks to Cyras DeValera for RR… -
For the Hat Trick: Fabian Akbar loses a Domi
Yes, this makes three kills in one night: Nighthawk, Megatron, Dominix. Too many Dominix in Dodixie. They're like the Ford Escort of mission running ships - everywhere, everyone uses them. And they rarely shoot. But I… -
EvilArt: One mega down, and he owes me 300m
I'll let the chat log speak for itself, along with the killmail . I warped in to this no-gate mission and started looting. He fires and I warp off. [ 2010.01.10 04:40:19 ] EvilArt > ты кто? [ 2010.01.10 04:40:21 ]… -
Sungi Verto Shoots, Scores (One Lost Navy Megathron)
I have raw video of this fight, but the software I was using is flaking out and I haven't time to work on it any more before I head out of town for the week. Sorry about that. The scene is a large single-room Serpentis… -
Dr Resurection discovers Command Ships aren't invulnerable
Out scanning in Dodixie today and got a Nighthawk hit. Command Ships usually either assume they can take anything, or they won't fire a shot. I warp in and start grabbing loot and salvage. I think he was AFK, because on… -
fydeg Meets JerkRaven, Dies Boringly, Threatens Doom
So I'm salvaging a Mission Generic field. Actually, I'm just looting. Metal Scraps are a pain. There's a Raven there, but the mission is complete and it's just hanging around. I get a convo: [ 2010.01.09 15:35:49 ]… -
Teh Dizzle Charges and Fails, Twice.
So I'm salvaging along in Dodixie when I come across a Catalyst salvaging a room. I follow him, flying to the wrecks he is tractoring and salvaging them out from under his nose. This is usually something I do purely for… -
I'm Not a Dev, I Just Play One on TV
I'm on a vacation from my wormhole, thanks to a two-day event in which we held a POS from ransom - and then killed it, of course. Off to Dodixie I went - months since I did any salvaging and gank baiting. Paul joined me… -
Goldangel and Luckyduce Shoot at Paul Clavet, Pay in Blood
Upside: I figured out what was causing the stupidly poor video quality, and have fixed it. Downside: I seem to have had some issues with the final compilation, probably related to having to use intermediate steps in the… -
Naeleros MKII Meets JerkRaven
This is a no-frills Hyperion gank, but I wanted to make sure that everyone knew I was still alive and playing a bit. The quality should be improved this time around, but I feel there are still improvements to be made. I… -
Transfixion, Part II: How to Take Infiltration to Demoralization in Three Short Days
For the first part, please read this entry first: So Long Transfixion, and Thanks for all the Fish This is a chatlog-heavy post, but if you'll patiently read through them you'll see how I used Mich's infiltration work,… -
Akemi Mifune's CNR Meets Paul Clavet's JerkRaven
Killmail here . The video is still fuzzy, I know. I run Eve at 1080p and when it gets squished down for distribution a ton of detail is lost. I may well end up running it in windowed mode a bit smaller to boost my… -
I Accidently The Whole Tower
One of my alts has formed a new corporation for the purposes of Wormhole-space exploitation. He's currently sitting in our chosen system while the funds are being raised for the POS and fittings. Every day or two I scan… -
Blewzmann, Part IV: Mother of God, Blewzmann. Why?
The war between DEADS and TEARS ended some time ago, but the merc corps hired to fight them kept their wars active because the DEADS folks continue to undock in and lose ridonkulously expensive ships. Solty and his crew… -
Guild Shout-outs. Killing spree!
I've recently installed a Sitemeter widget (wow, averaging 175 unique IP visitors a day!) and have been seeing lots of referrals coming from corp and alliance forums that I can't view without a login. If someone in your… -
Voxeltree learns: Never turn your back on a Jerk.
You know what they say about Megathron pilots. They always shoot ninjas . I don't know why, but a significant percentage of Megathron pilots will shoot at ninja salvagers, then stick around to have their ship aerated.… -
The Myrm and the Harby: A Tale
After losing two Vigils this weekend, I was feeling that I needed to blow something up. And I got that opportunity today. I was doing the usual salvage work in Dodixie, when I stumbled across a mission with four… -
Blewzmann, part III: Blewzmann loses all, again.
I'm fuzzy on how it started, but somehow we got a few ninjas together in a WT-hunting fleet. Kahega was being camped by three DEADS members, including Blewzmann (also known as "the man with the 2B faction-fit… -
Joa'har falls to NinjaRaven, cries about it
So the fail-dec from the carebear alliance continues, but I continue to salvage in Dodixie, even when there are a half-dozen enemy pilots trying to track me down. They haven't caught me yet. Today I scanned down a… -
Kahega wins the NinjaLottery, Blewzmann loses all
First rule of Eve: Only undock with what you can afford to lose. This rule is violated every day by missionbears, who undock faction-fitted faction PvE battleships that represent the whole of their net worth in Eve.… -
Ironical learns: Shooting at ninjas causes unfortunate events.
Well, the fail-war from the fail-alliance is still on, which means that my salvaging operations in Dodixie are still... proceeding as usual. They tried to work with a missionrunner to trap me in a mission last night,… -
Ju'Ane d'Ellenarile falls to NinjaRaven
(Author's note: I am posting this from a cellular-connected netbook moving at 75 MPH down a highway in the Southern US. If there are glitches or errors, they can be attributed to either a small keyboard or an unreliable… -
Change for Hope
(See what I did there? HopeChange? lulz.) So I was helping Logistical Nightmare pin Elizabeth hope. She spotted me (oh noes!) and taunted me in local. Elizabeth hope > /emote has paul clavet's stealth Bomber strapped to… -
Elizabeth Hope's No Good, Very Bad, Terrible Day
While I can't speak entirely for my corporation, I will put forth a claim that there is only one thing that gets us more excited than tears from mission runners: Threats of war. In general, we welcome a good war. It… -
A Tale of Two Carebears
Many EvE players don't understand what Suddenly Ninjas is all about. For the mission and miner carebears, we're mean folks who steal your stuff. For the "l33t hardcore" PvPers, we're just some corp who grief people in… -
Alute learns about shooting a ninja.
I was beginning to feel like all I ever did was fleet work, so when I logged on yesterday I politely turned down fleet invites from other ninjas and struck out solo. I pulled my Helios scan ship out of my Orca, scanned… -
Introduction: I'm Michella and I'm a tearoholic
o/ I'm Michella and I'm a tearaholic. Not like a normal "pirate" who enjoys blowing up internet spaceships for internet moneyz, I like blowing up internet spaceships so when people go to work on Monday they don't have… -
On Frigate Warfare
When I saw the image, I couldn't resist putting this together. -
NinjaFleets, Shooting at Them, Ransoms, and You
It seems that a pattern is developing for Saturdays in Suddenly Ninjas: Paul Clavet logs in to check his market orders and see what's shaking with the corp. Multiple ninjas beg Paul to start a salvage op. Paul states… -
Mythicon learns not to shoot at ninjas
Hello all, my Eve name is Khalia Nestune, and you may have seen me mentioned in some of Paul's earlier posts. Paul has invited me to contribute some occasional stories of loot, tears and gank to My Loot, Your Tears. The… -
In which Paul Clavet is a moron
So last night's NinjaFleet Salvage TearOp was a success by attendance standards, and we even killed a T2-fitted Drake! It was at a high cost, however. Early in the op, we were salvaging and looting the field of one… -
NinjaFleet TearOp Report, July 3, 2009
Also titled: Don't shoot at NinjaFleet. Also titled: Don't make RL threats on Eve. Also titled: NinjaFleet gets rich. I'll keep this short and sweet, because it's very late and I'm tired. We had our regularly-scheduled… -
Dirty deeds done in wormholes
NinjaFleet was on cloud nine following the epic salvage op that ended in a battleship kill and many tears . I was online the next night, putzing around, clearing out loot from the previous op, and just relaxing, when…