If Honorless Internet Jerks has a corporate motto, it is "Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose." The battle I had with Telendra Korrh of Grayson Space Enterprises was a perfect example of this philosophy.

Telendra opened fire on my Vigil just as soon as I started looting his Blood Raider wrecks. His Abbadon was a juicy target - I was hopeful he would stick around, and he did. I was confident my PvP Abbadon (the JerkMobile) would break him once I had neut'd his capacitor empty.

So our Abbadons pew pew at each other for a solid two minutes. I'm starting to wonder what is going on, because I should have drained his capacitor by now. He's holding at 70% armor and my armor buffer is at 80% and slowly going down. Another two minutes pass and now I'm sure I have a problem. His tank is just not breaking, despite the heavy neut I have on him, and I'm at 60% armor. He somehow has enough capacitor reserve to run everything and still deal with a heavy neut. I'm going to have to cheat.

All Jerks have a second account with an Orca pilot. We use these as mobile bases - we can swap ships, store cargo, provide fleet boosting capabilities, and refit a ship on the fly. It's the last feature that I'm going to exploit. While the fighting continues between our Abbadons, I warp my Orca into the mission and through the first gate, right on top of our battle. I now use the refit capability of the Orca to my advantage. I first swap one of my ENAMs for an EM-specific membrane to slow down my own damage. Then I drop a heavy pulse laser for another heavy neut, and finally I restock my supply of Cap Booster 800s.

With two heavy neuts active, the tide turns. Telendra stops firing his lasers - to conserve capacitor I assume - but it's not enough. His tank breaks and I push through the last of his armor, into structure, and his abbadon explodes. I finish at 37% armor. I go to scoop the loot and nearly fall out of my chair: There are two Corpum A-Type ENAMs and an Imperial Navy ENAM. The Corpum A-Types are worth around 550m each on the Jita market. This makes my total drop value around 1.1-1.2 billion.

When I finally look at the killmail it becomes obvious why his tank held up so well - two T2 capacitor rigs, a T1 capacitor rig, four midslots of cap rechargers, and a capacitor power relay! Along with the ENAMs and the Core A-Type Large Armor Repairer, he had a tremendous amount of capacitor, resistances and repairing ability.

Sadly, no tears were to be had from this kill. Which is surprising, considering the entire loss was almost 2 billion ISK and I had to cheat to win. It's so dirty.. and so fun.

Always cheat. Always win.