He's Stuck In The Bargaining Phase
Another quiet day in my w-space system. An inventory of cosmic signatures turns up a K162 connection to a Class 2 with a single Minmatar Large Control Tower. That w-space system turns out to have a connection to high security space. I switch over to another client for a few minutes. When I come back to my scanner I discover a Brutix on directional scanner, and core scanner probes.
Inhabitant or transient from hi-sec? I warp to the sun at 50km, planning to use that as a start point for finding him by directional scanner. Imagine my surprise when I pop out of warp nearly on top of the Brutix. He's motionless, not aligned to anything, and popping out probes. Targets don't come much easier than this. I get my main logged - she's got a PvP fit Legion for these types of encounters.
I mash on dscan as the Legion warps toward the Brutix but he is clearly oblivious. I get a point on him, fire up the lasers and neut, and settle into an orbit. The shields vanish, but his armor tank holds on at 80%, so I wait for the neut to drain him out. No return fire. Then the comm system activates with a hail from the pilot. I accept.
[ 2011.08.04 20:14:54 ] Coreemo > please
[ 2011.08.04 20:14:56 ] Coreemo > dont kill me
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:00 ] Khalia Nestune > why not?
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:04 ] Coreemo > i got trapped in here
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:14 ] Khalia Nestune > how much you willing to pay me?
Clearly not very bright - if he's begging I'm pretty sure I can get some ISK out of him before popping his ship.
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:17 ] Coreemo > i'll pay you 15 million
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:21 ] Khalia Nestune > 20
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:21 ] Coreemo > its all i got
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:33 ] Coreemo > ok. fine. 20
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:41 ] Coreemo > just stop please
[ 2011.08.04 20:15:50 ] Khalia Nestune > payment first
[ 2011.08.04 20:16:05 ] Coreemo > i don't want to be duped though
[ 2011.08.04 20:16:09 ] Coreemo > i'll show you that i can
[ 2011.08.04 20:16:10 ] Khalia Nestune > your call
[ 2011.08.04 20:16:13 ] Coreemo > i'll do 5 mill first
[ 2011.08.04 20:16:31 ] Khalia Nestune > listen pal, you send the money or I pew the ship, your call
[ 2011.08.04 20:16:42 ] Coreemo > lead me to an exit, and i'll pay the rest
Really? I don't think so.
[ 2011.08.04 20:17:22 ] Khalia Nestune > how about you pay me
[ 2011.08.04 20:17:25 ] Khalia Nestune > and I don't kill you
[ 2011.08.04 20:17:32 ] Coreemo > ok there
[ 2011.08.04 20:17:38 ] Coreemo > i payed the other 15mill
[ 2011.08.04 20:17:43 ] Coreemo > please let me go
[ 2011.08.04 20:17:47 ] Khalia Nestune > SUDDENLY BETRYAL
You knew this was coming, right?
[ 2011.08.04 20:17:52 ] Coreemo > please
[ 2011.08.04 20:17:54 ] Coreemo > dont
[ 2011.08.04 20:18:06 ] Coreemo > please
[ 2011.08.04 20:18:11 ] Coreemo > this is all i have :(
A very evil idea hatches. If he's really lost, without his ship he'll have to self-destruct his pod, and that means he loses both ship and implants.
[ 2011.08.04 20:18:17 ] Khalia Nestune > ok well
[ 2011.08.04 20:18:22 ] Khalia Nestune > eject from the ship
[ 2011.08.04 20:18:29 ] Khalia Nestune > I'll lead you to the exit in your pod
[ 2011.08.04 20:18:36 ] Coreemo > but i need it
[ 2011.08.04 20:18:43 ] Coreemo > all my assests are this ship
[ 2011.08.04 20:18:43 ] Khalia Nestune > ok I blow it
[ 2011.08.04 20:19:06 ] Coreemo > please show some kindness
[ 2011.08.04 20:19:21 ] Khalia Nestune > well I did give you the option of ejecting
[ 2011.08.04 20:19:32 ] Khalia Nestune > without a ship you won't be able to get out at all
[ 2011.08.04 20:19:36 ] Khalia Nestune > and will have to suicide your pod
By this time I've broken his tank and am chewing into hull. I turn off the lasers to give him some incentive.
[ 2011.08.04 20:19:59 ] Coreemo > ok...fine. lead me out. dont pop me
[ 2011.08.04 20:20:09 ] Khalia Nestune > eject
And by god, he ejects.
[ 2011.08.04 20:20:32 ] Khalia Nestune > ok, stay right there
At this point I was going to get an alt to grab the Brutix, but then I realize an even easier solution. His pod goes POP a few seconds later. I grab the Brutix; nothing amazing on it, but at least a decent T2 fit, if heavy on cap recharge.
Then I get some of the best begging and denial I've seen in a good long time.
[ 2011.08.04 20:21:11 ] Coreemo > you're evil
[ 2011.08.04 20:21:30 ] Khalia Nestune > yep
[ 2011.08.04 20:21:32 ] Khalia Nestune > thanks for playing
[ 2011.08.04 20:21:39 ] Coreemo > can i please have my money back
[ 2011.08.04 20:21:41 ] Coreemo > you have my brut
[ 2011.08.04 20:21:43 ] Khalia Nestune > hmmmm
[ 2011.08.04 20:21:45 ] Khalia Nestune > no.
[ 2011.08.04 20:21:48 ] Coreemo > its worth more than the money
[ 2011.08.04 20:22:06 ] Khalia Nestune > you shouldn't fly what you can't afford to lose, you know
[ 2011.08.04 20:22:23 ] Coreemo > i didn't know that wh was occupied
[ 2011.08.04 20:22:44 ] Khalia Nestune > occupied? I'm not even from that WH
[ 2011.08.04 20:22:55 ] Khalia Nestune > you're a target in a WH, regardless
[ 2011.08.04 20:23:30 ] Coreemo > can you please at least give me my money back? show some sympathy? i know its pathetic to beg
[ 2011.08.04 20:23:40 ] Khalia Nestune > EVE is a nasty, dangerous, unfriendly, game. Even the devs say so.
[ 2011.08.04 20:23:59 ] Coreemo > I can see that
[ 2011.08.04 20:24:16 ] Khalia Nestune > You'll get some small fame on ../ tho
[ 2011.08.04 20:25:04 ] Coreemo > :/ thats just rubbing salt into the wound
[ 2011.08.04 20:25:33 ] Khalia Nestune > Nice brutix tho
[ 2011.08.04 20:25:48 ] Coreemo > ugh. it took me so much to build that
[ 2011.08.04 20:26:02 ] Khalia Nestune > probally don't need so much cap recharge tho
[ 2011.08.04 20:26:24 ] Coreemo > i was using it for sleepers since they suck cap
[ 2011.08.04 20:27:44 ] Coreemo > well you have my ship for a trophy
[ 2011.08.04 20:27:54 ] Khalia Nestune > how much did you have in implants?
[ 2011.08.04 20:27:54 ] Coreemo > can i at least have my isk back?
[ 2011.08.04 20:28:16 ] Coreemo > about 10-15 million
[ 2011.08.04 20:28:28 ] Khalia Nestune > No, consider it a learning fee: You've learned that Eve is a dangerous place.
[ 2011.08.04 20:28:46 ] Coreemo > can i have half back?
[ 2011.08.04 20:28:51 ] Coreemo > i need something to rebuild with
[ 2011.08.04 20:28:54 ] Khalia Nestune > How long have you been doing this?
[ 2011.08.04 20:29:06 ] Coreemo > started not too long ago
[ 2011.08.04 20:29:39 ] Khalia Nestune > and you've been going into wspace alone? not very smart
[ 2011.08.04 20:29:53 ] Coreemo > well i had a drake inbound to assist
[ 2011.08.04 20:30:09 ] Coreemo > he was 4 jumps out when you decided to sneak up on me
[ 2011.08.04 20:30:20 ] Khalia Nestune > should have waited =)
[ 2011.08.04 20:30:30 ] Coreemo > should've, but didn't
[ 2011.08.04 20:31:03 ] Khalia Nestune > The More You Know(tm)
[ 2011.08.04 20:31:50 ] Coreemo > Well can you help me get back on my feet somewhat at least? That was practically all i had
[ 2011.08.04 20:32:08 ] Khalia Nestune > I hear mining in a cruiser can make you some isk
[ 2011.08.04 20:32:26 ] Coreemo > but i don't have isk to acquire said cruiser
[ 2011.08.04 20:32:38 ] Khalia Nestune > guess you'll have to start with a frigate
[ 2011.08.04 20:32:41 ] Khalia Nestune > or run missions
[ 2011.08.04 20:33:43 ] Coreemo > ahhh cmon now. you probably have dozens of kills a week
[ 2011.08.04 20:34:07 ] Khalia Nestune > no, but even if I did, I have no reason to give you back your isk
[ 2011.08.04 20:34:11 ] Coreemo > can you shed at least just a little bit of ruthlessness this time?
[ 2011.08.04 20:34:34 ] Khalia Nestune > that would require... some ruth
[ 2011.08.04 20:34:40 ] Khalia Nestune > I seem to have none
[ 2011.08.04 20:34:58 ] Coreemo > :/
15 comments
I saw the Pod kill popup on the killboard, was wondering why there wasn't another ship associated with said pod kill in w-space. Nice tears either way!
I usually enjoy your stuff, but I fucking hate it when people kill after ransoms. It just makes them less likely to pay a ransom to someone who will actually let them go. Don't ruin ransoms for people who actually want to ransom, either blow the ship up or take money for not blowing said ship up, not both.
NOTE: The pilot was an idiot, I am not disagreeing with that at all. totally deserved to lose his ship and pod. Im just saying killing after ransoms fucks it up for people who dont.
Yeah, but I don't actually care about other people who ransom =)
Nice tears Spacefool
I do pirate allot, and I do like tears pretty much, there's always the odd f you and because you were a douche you'll die regardless, but when I bargain ransoms if it's agreed I don't break them so hastily, I honor my words even being a pirate.
I don't find funny at all a fool with no honor...
Honor? You realize that Paul and I made a corp called 'Honorless Internet Jerks'?
Hello Kitty Online is this way ---->
Hello Kitty Online! That's my phrase! I reactivated WoW after dropping EVE last year, and Sangamon asked me what I was up to... I told him that in WoW you can't ever lose anything, so it's like "Hello Kitty Online". :)
OMG it's REAL... http://www.hellokittyonline.com/
*facepalm*
'SUDDENLY BETRAYAL' is what makes these updates so epic. That's ransoms done how they should be done. Not like the fool is gonna put himself back in that position any time soon. Great update khalia!
I'm bound by my alliance's regs to honor ransoms even in highsec (otherwise i would've ransomed that navy mega and killed it), but I rarely get the chance to ransom as it is, so between that and the fact that SUDDENLY BETRAYAL's are funny as fuck, I think it's a moot point.
Great to see some tears again! Bonus tears from whining pirates as well!!
Thanks Khalia :-)
Good post. I gave the mark his 20M back so I consider myself ransomed.
I am absolutely amazed by two things; one, the story. Two, the people whining about suddenly betrayal. It's like, what did you expect? You're reading My Loot Your Tears, the people that brought you Honorless Internet Jerks. Duh!
never ever pay ransoms...
oops, great blog, great tears tho! thumbs up!
Wow
this is a policeman's blog..
you man definitely should be working in jail not in police.
i think you ethics committee would love to read this