When Noob Ships Attack!
Paul and I just finished taking down a Dread Guristas Control Tower but that story is going to wait for the next post.
My two characters Khalia and Johanes had self-destructed their POS-bashing battleships for the insurance money and were heading the short trip over to Jita. We have a few wars going on, so we weren't that surprised to find a war target right on the gate inside Jita. Wait, in an Ibis?
Copy Jeff was stationary on the gate, so I assumed he had autopiloted from somewhere else. What to do - charge at him with Khalia's Imparior and Johanes' Ibis!
I had hoped for a noobship-on-noobship battle, but no such luck. He sat there while the Civilian Gatling Pulse Laser and Civilian Gatling Railgun hammered his Ibis with blows of 3 or 4 damage. It took 4 or 5 minutes, but the Ibis was no match for our mighty frigates.
But wait! The hapless and absent Jeff was now adrift in his capsule... which has the weakest and puniest of all defenses. How long would it take for two Total Suck class frigates to rupture it's contents and spill his goo into space?
Sorry Jeff. Perhaps your second day in No More Violence will actually not feature any violence. On the other hand, if you're game for a rematch - bring another Ibis. See you out there.
UPDATE: As it happened, Jeff's clone location was Jita. I refit the Imparior for real damage and with a scram and undocked. Jeff undocked behind me in a Raven. So I locked and scramed him. He... docked. A few minutes later he undocks in a Kestrel. I lock and scram him. He... docks. Yet again later he undocks in an Ibis. This time he stays undocked and melts to my Imparior, and then I pod him again. Good times!
8 comments
You podded the same guy twice, at the same time and place? How embarassing for him.
If youre near dodi and want a noobship battle, let me know. i even thought of starting a noobship league or something.
set up battles arent as fun as the real ones, but hey, me "Velator Of Doom" needs some pratice, so hit me up!
its t2 fitted and has exotic dancers on board.
Question: How long did it take you to take down that tower?
Too damn long. But that's for another post. Be patient: I give the Jerks lots of work to do and they can't always get to posting immediately. The beatings will only improve efficiency so much before they become counter-productive.
What? No hurling of insults at Copy Jeff to assert your superiority over him after defeating his AFK'd ship? No exaggeration of the gravity of the encounter to inflate your self-importance? And a small, lighthearted joke to boot?
Maybe I was wrong about you, Khalia.
Signed,
Cautiously Optimistic Floze
So let me get this straight, the guy had a raven, he docks, undocks with a kestrel and he docks back, then he gets out with a noob ship and die ?
His he retarded ? lmao. Good story
What's funny is Jita 4-4 has no medical facilities so you would have podded him the 2nd time in an unupgraded clone :)
I chuckled