Tebos Has Trust Issues, Pays with Cash and Ferox
So I'm Jerking it up in Ichoriya when I see this in local:
Tebos > anyone want to help me out witha ninja?
Interesting. I should at least see what's up with him. Maybe it's someone I know, or maybe I can turn it into a griefing opportunity. I convo him with my Orca alt.
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > h8 ninjas
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > how can i help
Tebos > have one scramed and he scamed me
Tebos > cant hit his ass
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > lol
Tebos > he is in assult ship
Tebos > took out all my drones
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > is he killing you?
Tebos > he stoped firing
Tebos > im back to 10% dmg
Tebos > think he is waiting for corps mates to finish me off
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > what's his name?
Tebos > Kaript344
Tebos > same one some folks were talking about
So I convo Kaript344 on my main to see if I can help him with the gank:
Paul Clavet > hey
Kaript344 > hey
Paul Clavet > my alt is in convo with your target
Paul Clavet > he thinks I'm helping him
Paul Clavet > but I want to help you with the gank
Paul Clavet > how can I help?
Kaript344 > no, thx)
Kaript344 > that's fun
Kaript344 > :D
So it looks like Kaript doesn't need my help. Oh well. I'm not going to take a chance on his target getting away if I can help it, and maybe I can pull off something even bigger...
A plan falls together that involves a trick I often use to get JerkTengu away from traps, much to my amusement and to the rage of my targets.
Tebos > any chance u can give me a hand?
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > how can I help? I don't have aggro on him
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > what kinda ship are you in?
Tebos > ferox
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > OK, I have an orca
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > here's the plan
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > I will warp to you, you swap the ferox for a shuttle
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > then warp away
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > we meet at station and you get your ferox back
Tebos > really that will work?
Tebos > im game
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > yeah, I do it in lowsec all the time
Tebos > to be done with this dip shit
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > lemme get the orca
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > fleet invite?
He sends me a fleet invite. His corpmate Eulysees Chelt is in the chat as well. I warp my Orca to the station and take all the loot and ships out of the holds so that he can't steal anything from me. I undock the Orca and start the slooooow align to his mission.
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > OK dude here's the deal
Tebos > ok
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > when I land, right click me and access the ship maint array
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > there's a shuttle in there
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > right click it and board it
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > I have to be 2500M away, so I may have to burn to you
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > do you understand?
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > you have to warp away IMMEDIATELY or he will scram the shuttle
Eulysees Chelt > and t's ship ?
Tebos > how long after u warp in?
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > as soon as I'm in range, warping now
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > fly toward me
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > OK, go ahead and right click me
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > open ship maint array
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > you won't be able to board the shuttle until I'm 2k away
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > ok now
The shuttle vanishes, and in its place a Ferox battlecruiser appears. It will turn out to be T1 rigged and T2 fitted. Rule #2 of Eve Griefing: Secure your gains, then try for a little more.
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > warp out
Tebos > k
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > we saved your ship o/
Eulysees Chelt > Semi-Secret Orca Alt........what happens to the ship thats left behind ?
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > don't suppose I get a reward? :-D
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > it didn't get left behind, I've got it in my orca
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > will trade it to you at the station
Eulysees Chelt > ah ok
Eulysees Chelt > nice moves man
Tebos > wow that was cool...and yes u get reward man =)
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > :-D
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > how much do I get? :)
Eulysees Chelt > what you want ?
Tebos > how much u want bro?...u name the price
Eulysees Chelt > realistically
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > figure a ferox is worth 30m? Maybe 10m
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > brb
Tebos > i live with that...
Tebos > im at caldari
Tebos > ok man money transfered
Of course, he doesn't ask for his ship back before he sends the reward. Rule #3 of Eve Griefing: Make sure your victim is fully aware of his loss.
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > thanks man
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > btw
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > thanks for the ferox too
Tebos > bah....
Tebos > awsome
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > heh heh
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > A mite bit too trusting, ain't ya?
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > I'm the alt of Paul Clavet
Tebos > yes i am...but its my nature
Tebos > prob not a good idea in eve
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > right
I've got his money and his ship. Let's implement Rule #2 again and try for more. The plan is to sell him what he thinks is his own ship back at what seems a reasonable price. It's actually going to be an unfitted ship with the same name.
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > I'm open to offers if you wanna buy this thing back
Tebos > well lesson learned i quess
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > I can't fly a ferox anyway
Tebos > any chance u can just give it back? =
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > not really
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > but I'll sell it to you for market price
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > plus a little for fittings... say 22 million?
Tebos > thats an expensive ferox
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > you must have fittings on it
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > that's where you save the money
Tebos > hehe ur a good sales man
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > we have a deal?
Tebos > but i think i will cut my loses =|
Bah. It looks like he's wised up. Most pinatas can only be struck so many times before the candy stops falling out.
His friend Eulysees tries to make a parting threat on his way out of the chat.
Eulysees Chelt > cmon man...you helped he payed what gives ?
Eulysees Chelt > you know you wanna watch your back my friend....one man team an all
A lot of really magical griefing moments can be had simply by keeping one's eyes open for opportunities. If you can keep an open mind and think outside the box, you can leverage your capabilities against the unique situation of your victim to pull off effective but extremely situational capers.
As for Tebos, he learned a valuable and ultimately inexpensive lesson about trust in Eve. There is no such thing as a sure thing when it comes to dealing with people. The closest to total trustworthiness would be someone you know outside of the game who you can get your hands on... but even this is pushing it, since it's not RL illegal to be a jerk to your friend in a video game. Think hard about this next time you're taking a stranger's offer to get you out of a bind, or the next time the new guy in your corp volunteers to do some grunt work that requires hangar access. Tebos and I chatted for a while after these events and he seems like a sincerely nice guy. I hope I've changed his mind a little bit about Eve and his playstyle options. I love tears, but I love it even more when I convert a carebear into a griefer. Maybe there's a future in it for Tebos?
I think by now each former ninja who spent the time and money to train an alt for an Orca has had his investment returned at least 2-1 due to using ninja ingenuity on what was initially introduced as a mining command ship.
I edited out about 4 other "also that ninja was fail" comments here but just so I feel I didn't waste my time:
Also that ninja was fail.
There now I feel better.
Getting an Orca alt for doing Ninja work has paid off sooooo much. Doubles efficiency easily, and makes everything less tedious. :P We do have a cult... It be the corp. :P
You should start a cult.
Speaking of converted carebears, count me in. Started with a run-in with Khalia some months ago in minmatar space; i'm now just starting to run solo ninja work with an "alt" which just became my main. I credit both Khalia and this website as inspiration.
Alt is dropped out of my old corp; main is now moved to a standby mode. He may get in on the antics after I get my feet sufficiently wet. I guess I'm now both a former miner AND a former mission runner. =)
I've been reading your site for a while now, almost always worth a chuckle. Keep up the great work!
@Hobo: This isn't a cult? Paul Clavet and Friends surely have a cult following at least... =D
Now I really want my Orca alt to be finished training already as I want to be very evil like Paul!
Also count me in on the cult. Preferably one without the kool-aid at the end though.
Shamu is go!
I look forward to a Eulysees Chelt update ^_^
awesome read! You just made my day...Monday morning at work is better now!
Cheers
BTW, click my name
Sometimes I feel like Paul and I have single handlely turned hisec griefing from very niche to a fast-rising new profession.
:-0
35 days til my alt can fly an Orca! I'm a converted care-bear and I've been griefing for a bit over a month now and have had several kills, including 3 BS's. I've been keeping a log of tears and some of it has been pretty hilarious. Big fan of you guys, have been hanging out for more of your posts.
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > OK, I have an orca
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > here’s the plan
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > I will warp to you, you swap the ferox for a shuttle
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > then warp away
Semi-Secret Orca Alt > we meet at station and you get your ferox back
Tebos > really that will work?
Tebos > im game
What kind of idiots play this game?!
Hehe, anyone that can document some solo kills and plays with an orca alt can attempt to convince Paul to let them join up. :) Alternatively.. Pay me to convince him. :P
YOU
ARE
EVIL
...and I love you for it.
:D